Drive to Washington

Mt. Shasta with more snow than I have ever seen!

We decided to detour on our way to Washington this year.  I have always wanted to go to Crater Lake, so that was our first stop.  We were very surprised to see all the snow in June!  It wasn't just a little snow, there were several feet and it was cold.  The scenery was amazing...starting with the pull-off where you can see how the flow of material and steam carved out a deep ravine and then the lake.  We watched the video at the visitor center, so we learned a bit about how it was formed and why it is so unique.  Ainsley was complaining much of the time...boring....cold.  I get it, but hopefully, someday they will appreciate it.

We left there a bit later than I thought and it was a long drive to the hotel near Portland.  Ryan was working the next day and I requested a hotel near I-5 since I knew we would be tired from our long day, but he decided to book a hotel near where he was going to work.  It was a bad idea.  We were toast from the car ride, listening to Ainsley push Khalif's buttons and then him yelling at her in irritation.  Then it went from that to Ainsley laughing at him for miles.  It was a very unpleasant few hours and when we finally got to the hotel, 45 minutes west of I-5 they didn't have his reservation.  Or they did, but it was at another hotel a few miles away.  Unfortunately, he was trying to be efficient and unloaded the car since the check-in line was long, so we loaded up the car and headed to the other hotel.  It was almost 9 o'clock by this time, well past Khalif's bed time.  We arrived at the other hotel and Ryan couldn't find his wallet.  He left it at the front desk at the first hotel!  So, we had to go back.  I was laughing a bit at this point because it was such a mess, but Ryan didn't think it was so funny.  It was nearly 10 by the time everyone was in bed and I told the kids if the clock said anything before 8, to close their eyes and go back to sleep.  This has been a real challenge for the boys, so I wasn't optimistic, but I woke up at 8:00 and it was quiet.  Ryan snuck out at 7 am.  Unfortunately, this hotel had a frosted glass barn door for the bathroom, so I couldn't go to the bathroom without waking up everyone, so I laid in bed and waited and waited.  Finally, at 8:45 I had to get up and sure enough the light woke everyone up moments later.  That was o.k. because we had to get down to breakfast before it ended.  So, I now know that they can sleep in!!!  After breakfast, I had a long talk with them about the day before and that life wasn't all about them anymore...mom and dad get to do things that they enjoy and they will tag along with positive attitudes.  And, we will be kind and respect one another and not have anymore of their nonsense.  They apologized and things were definitely better, but that could have been because we left there and went to Great Wolf Lodge and had an amazing time on the water slides.

That was the first time that I've had motion sickness from water slides...Ryan too.  It was a good workout and we were happy to be moving after sitting in the car for so long.  They had a wand game that the kids also enjoyed doing, but it is clear that Reggie is hitting his teen years and not interested in doing as much as he used to.  Just wanted to hang out in the room and play video games or read, so we had yet another talk.  It was important to me to get this figured out before the summer started and we went on our trip overseas.  It made for a very rough start to the summer, but I think Reggie accepted the summer reality after about 4 or 5 days.  Not a whole lot that I expected....Reggie had to work out every other day, they had to brush their teeth everyday and Reggie and Ainsley were planning meals and helping prepare them.  I got so much grief for this, but I think it is about time that they start helping and learning to fend for themselves.  They don't have the time when school starts to do this, so summer seemed to be the perfect time.

Wedding!

Anthony and Emily got married on August 5th and it was such a beautiful day, all around!  You can see the happiness on their faces in the pictures below....so happy to have Emily part of our clan!  Don't they look nice all dressed up :)The pastor has preached at the lake before so my mom and dad knew her.  She had a really nice message, different than a lot of weddings and I enjoyed it.  So glad the weather was nice and the venue was just perfect.....they thought of everything.  I'm glad pinterest was not around when I got married.  So many more detail touches which were really neat, but I'm sure a lot of work.  We enjoyed playing Cornhole.  What a great idea to have things for the kids (and adults) to do outside :)

 Grandma and Ainsley ripping up the dance floor!

 I have no idea what was going on here!

It was the kids first wedding and I'm not sure they knew what to expect, but they seemed to enjoy themselves and the food was amazing!  Ainsley had a particular hairstyle she wanted (a bow made out of hair) and it was a little tricky for me to get it just right, but I think it turned out o.k.

Don't they look nice all dressed up :)

Happy Birthday Dad!

Spring Trimester

It was another learning experience this spring with Reggie.  I thought he had the school thing figured out, but his grades kept falling and fast :(.  It was shortly after Ryan rewarded him for good grades by allowing him to buy the Nintendo Switch.  He was not real happy, but it did slip out that many of his friends were in the same boat with losing privileges because of poor grades (much stricter than we are!).  At one point he had a C, 3 B's and 3 A's.  All screen time and his game systems went away, along with "homework" sessions with his friends which clearly were not helping his grades.  He had different issues in his classes and it took some time sorting out what he needed to work on, but he figured out he can't walk in PE with his friends that can't run, he had to organize better (we kept quizzing him in Spanish from pictures of the words that his friends sent because he could never find his own study sheet.  In math, he didn't know the assignment and felt bad bugging his friends because he did all the time, so he guessed and did the wrong assignment, then didn't bother to turn a quiz over, so got a 33%).  In reviewing his assignments and scores on homework, it was clear that there were a few recurring problem areas that instead of bringing his grade up, were pulling it down.  So, we talked through the importance of looking at our grades and understanding the expectation of the teacher and if we don't, then its important to speak with the teacher to better understand what they are looking for.  These are a few examples of the things we were dealing with.  It was like his brain fell out and he was a disorganized mess yet again.  He also learned that when you go on vacation and miss school, you can't make assumptions about what happened when you were gone.  I asked him several times what he missed and he kept telling me that he missed nothing, but zero's kept popping up and I made him go talk to every teacher and it turns out he had quite a few things to do.  He also learned if a teacher offers extra credit, you do it whether you think you need to or not.  There was a lot of opportunity for this and he didn't take advantage.  He is very lucky his teachers are nice!  I hope he remembers these learning experiences and chooses to make better choices next time.  It is clear that when he tries, he is highly capable, but the effort and concern about school was not there.  I did ask him if you took us out of the equation, what he would be satisfied with, all B's?  C's?  He said he did care and wanted A's, but it was really hard to tell that he cared at all.  It is easy to want A's, but a little harder to put the effort in to get them.  We ended up helping him get back on track which wasn't fun for any of us, but in the end, he pulled it out!!!

Schools out!

The last day of school was on Thursday and it was a drizzly, cool day.  I don't think we've ever had rain in June since we've lived here!  At least it wasn't too hot for field day.  The kids got out early and we headed to the Williams for a pool party.  Not the best weather, but at least the drizzle stopped and it was a bit warmer.  It was so much fun!!!  Well, except for Reggie, who has been quite the party pooper lately, especially if he doesn't have a friend there.

Reggie and Ainsley have been soaking up their friends the last few days since they won't see them all summer.  Reggie spent the day with his good buddy David and Ainsley went to Menchies with her BFF and then had a sleepover with a couple of other friends!  Khalif wasn't invited anywhere, so he got the shaft.  No time for me to have friends over here....too much packing and organizing!!!

 On a side note.....Reggie sounds very different.  He woke up one morning this week and his voice changed.  He is growing up :(.

Khalif can hang out with us!  He asked me today if there were chores he could do since he was bored :)!!!

Band

Ainsley had band this year and was assigned to play the clarinet.  She never practiced but was able to learn what she needed.  I'm guessing her knowledge of the notes from learning piano helped her a lot. Here's a video....

Khalif's birthday party

I decided to do his birthday party early this year since we'll be gone in July and it is a little harder to get in touch with school friends when it is summer break.  There was an auction item at our school fundraiser back in March that was a lego party and I thought it would be perfect for Khalif, so I bid and won!  My excitement soon fizzled when I told Khalif.  That isn't what he wanted to do for his birthday and maybe I could sell it.  Really????  This is what he and Reggie do for hours and hours!  I guess I should have known that I might get this reaction since it wasn't his idea and he had no control over the situation.  Selling it wasn't in the cards, so I told him we were just going to have to make it work.
When I called the place, they asked me where I wanted the party to be which was confusing because I thought they had a store, but apparently, they come to you (they also have after school programs at our school).  I knew I didn't want it at the house and I asked what they recommended and they said parks are great.  So, I found one with partial coverage over the picnic tables...you never know how hot its going to be here in June and we went with it.  We figured out what friends he wanted, although he told me that they didn't like lego's.  I met much resistance and heard many negative comments about the birthday party over the last several weeks and am very happy to have it done.  It really made it more difficult to put all that effort into something that was not appreciated.
And as it turned out, the party was amazing!  Khalif thoroughly enjoyed himself!  Probably one of the better parties we've attended or hosted.  Thank you Bricks 4Kids!  They got to build Star Wars figures/ships and they had motors, so the older kids were also interested and Reggie and David built a really cool thing that twisted and twirled.  They hooked the tie fighters and x-wings to fishing line and made them "fly" and had lightsaber battles, along with a craft.  The weather was perfect too...80 and breezy.

 He built Darth Vader

 Reggie and Khalif's half-brother

 Opening presents :)

It was a busy weekend.....Khalif''s family came to the party and then he left with them to spend the weekend there.  Reggie spent a lot of the weekend with David because Ainsley had her gymnastics show and her banquet.  Glad its Monday!

Passports

Ryan has to travel to China for work and mentioned that it might be fun if I join him.  Since the kids are enjoying new travels, I suggested we all go!  This was last month and you can't book flights without a passport, so I quickly got on the passport situation and had no idea how crazy it was going to be.  I went to the post office to pick up the paperwork and saw the group waiting to get their passports.  I got some really good information and decided to wake up nice and early on Saturday to get in line.  Everyone has to be present, so that seemed like the best day since I didn't want to take them out of school.  It opened at 10 and a nice lady in line said to get there a couple hours early to get a spot, so I got there at 7:45 and the lobby was full.  All 12 spots had already been taken, so I asked the lady in the front of the line what time she got there and she said 4 a.m.!!!!  Are you kidding me?  There are a few post offices and places that make appointments, but they were booked out way far or they never pick up the phone, so I'm not sure how you make an appointment.  There's a place in San Francisco that will allow you to do the whole process quickly, but it has to be within 2 weeks of your travel date and if you don't have a passport, you can't book your travel.  Anyway, who knew it would be so complicated???  So, Ryan bit the bullet the following Saturday and got there at 3:30 and was 3rd in line!!!  They didn't open the doors to the post office until 6 am., so he was out in the cold and I think he was really thankful that's not a regular thing.  The rest of us arrived at 9:30 and were done around 11:15.  I still wasn't sure it would come together because we were planning to go in July and if it took 6-8 to get our passports, then it would be too late to book airfare.  But, our passports came in record time, 2 1/2 weeks, so it seemed our fate was to go.  After many revisions of where we would go and for how long (Ryan has to work in 3 locations in Asia), we booked our airfare last night!  I will be taking the kids to Hawaii on July 11th on the way to Japan for 3 nights while Ryan works in Taiwan.  There was no extra flight expense for us to stop in Oahu and since I don't want to take the kids with us to Maui, this seemed like a great way for them to experience Hawaii!  We will then meet up with Ryan in Japan for 3 days and then fly to Hong Kong for another 3 night to finish the trip.  Should be memorable!!!

Therapy update

So, we were hoping after the adoption a lot of the behavior issues we experience with Khalif would resolve or at least diminish.  We didn't find that to be true and after being in therapy for over 5 years, it was getting a little bit old and frustrating.  He was given an anxiety diagnosis last summer and his body awareness and ability to feel things (when he has to go to the bathroom, when he is tired, when something is bothering him) is absent much of the time.  It is heightened in new situations, so travel is a real challenge and even somewhat dreadful.  He also struggles with impulse control and has had ups and downs at school this year and unless he makes some major progress, this will likely get worse since the expectations grow each year.  He also has a strong desire to be right and point out when I am wrong or just disagree with me to regain "control".  Control is a biggy for him.  These behaviors come and go which has been challenging for us because when they are gone, we think, this is it!  He has finally overcome these early childhood experiences.  What I have learned is that his brain is wired differently because of these experiences and he's in survival mode much of the time (even though he is safe and has been out of that environment for 6 years).  He can be thrown into a bad place from a feeling inside that may surface at any time.  Ryan did a little experiment with him and Reggie....they were in Hayward and he challenged them to get him home without using Reggie's phone GPS and Khalif was able to get him back to the freeway in a place they had never been.  This seems like a great thing, but when you peel it back, it is kinda sad that he can't just sit in a car and be a kid....he has to make sure he will be able to get where he needs to go.  I understand where these behaviors come from and why they are present, but it has been so incredibly challenging to see such little progress in some areas over such a long period of time.  I heard about a different kind of therapy called EMDR which uses eye movement as you are reliving the trauma, and in a sense it rewires your brain.  We started this in February and they are slowly working through his memories (that are so vivid from before he was 20 months old!!!).  She took a little break because he had built up a lot of protective walls and wasn't working with the process, but he seems to be on track now. We had some forward progress for sure, but since then a lot of regression which is to be expected given that he is drudging up all these memories.  But, we can deal if it means progress!  We are hopeful and praying that this will heighten his body awareness, change his thought process and his strong pull to the negative.

Mud Run

The kids did a mud run in Livermore and it was an experience for sure!  Ainsley had her gymnastics buddy, Haleigh, and Reggie and Khalif did it together.  Quite a difference between the two groups.  The girls were off to the races and really enjoyed themselves.  The obstacles were nothing like the Rugged Maniac, so I am very glad Ryan and I did not participate.  It was a good first experience for the kids, but on the milder side for sure.  Reggie had a horrible allergy attack and was a mess beforehand, but was a trooper and did it anyway.  The boys detoured much of the obstacles, not wanting to get dirty or climb (Reggie's fear of heights), but they could not avoid getting dirty on the last obstacle which was a long trench filled with mud!  Reggie took one step and lost his shoe and shortly thereafter, lost the second, so he finished in his socks.  I am very glad they all wore junk shoes!  Khalif had a very hard time with the last obstacle and thankfully, Reggie is a good big brother and helped him out....he was stuck in the mud :).  The worst part was trying to get clean afterward.  The mud was so thick and it was hard for them to get enough water spray to get clean and once they were wet, they got really cold because the wind was blowing.  None of them want to do it again, but it is an experience they won't forget.

 The obstacle the boys skipped....it was a good 20 feet high

Last obstacle.....

Waiting to get clean....not too efficient

First tooth

Finally!!!  Khalif lost his first tooth.  He's been watching his friends lose teeth for years and has been patiently waiting.  It's hard when you are almost 8 and haven't lost a tooth.
It started to wiggle and then he just couldn't leave it alone, but wouldn't let us come near it and wouldn't pull it himself.  He was having a hard time eating because it was hanging on and was a little sensitive, so he finally decided it was time and pulled it out.  He said it didn't even hurt!

Gymnastics season

Well....it has been quite a ride this year!  Over Christmas break, we went to the gym in Mt. Vernon and were pleasantly surprised because they got a new coach.  Ainsley was sick the first week we were there so she only practiced twice, but it was very impactful!  She got all of her beam skills back, got some great drills for her giant and found her love of gymnastics again.  She was pretty frustrated when we left because she lost her giant on bars and was not having much fun on beam.  We never thought she would be ready to compete when we got back, but she was, so they entered her in the first meet in January.  She didn't look too confident, but she didn't fall on anything and finished with almost a 36 all-around score.  Her giant on bars was hit or miss the next couple months and it was super stressful for her and us.  They changed her routine to make it harder and that actually seemed to help.

Before that change in her bar routine, we traveled to San Diego for her first travel meet and it was quite an experience.  We booked really late because we didn't know if she would be ready, so we ended up sharing a room with another family.  It worked out great, but the mom was a heavy breather and Ainsley had trouble sleeping which wasn't good since we had to get up at 5:30 to get ready for the meet which had a 7:40 report time.  Bars was her first event and she looked pretty good in warm up, but missed her giant 3 times in a row and didn't finish her routine.  She was devastated!!!  I felt so bad because there wasn't anything I could do :o(.  Then she went to beam and was competing her round-off back-tuck dismount for the first time and missed a foot and luckily she pulled it around, but it was a bit scary.  Floor and vault she had personal bests on, so she finished the day in a great way.  9.5 on vault....we were all happily surprised.  It was nice to get the meet overwith, so we could enjoy San Diego!  The girls went to the beach and swam in the freezing cold water and then went back to the hotel and swam and sat in the hot tub.  Then they played games until it was really late!  The next day we went to SeaWorld and had an amazing time there.  She loved hanging out with her gym friends and can't wait to travel with them again.

 I did touch that shark!

She had a meet the very next week and her back started hurting at the beginning of the week but because it was a meet week, she was told she had to complete her assignments, so she pushed through.  As I was watching her at the meet, bending over to relieve her back and grabbing her back, I didn't feel so good about what was happening.  She had her best meet by far, finishing 1st on vault and 2nd on floor and 3rd all-around with a 37.175.  I kept her home for several days and it improved a little, but even with acupuncture and guasha, she was still in a lot of pain.  She was doing very modified skills for at least a week when one particular coach made her do a skill that we discussed was not a good idea.  So, we immediately stopped going and thankfully, I had already scheduled a doctors appointment.  They took an x-ray and the doctor saw something suspicious, so ordered an MRI.  It was a very stressful couple of weeks and I had words with the coach and head coach about my disappointment in what had transpired.  I was pretty sure she had a stress fracture because after 3 weeks, it was still not better, but the MRI turned out negative.  This news was bittersweet....I was hoping to be done with this crazy, time consuming, injury causing sport, but Ainsley wasn't having any of it.  So...I had to be THAT parent and stay on top of everything she was doing to keep her healthy.  We started PT and she did a lot of cupping which seemed to help.  She is in the process of learning to use her abdominal muscles all the time to protect her back and hopefully, she can figure it out.  This process took about a month and she was still modified with only 2 weeks before state.  I guess she likes to cut it close!  Everything came back quickly but she lost her giant again (which is weird since that is the only event she could actually practice during her injury) and was a complete head case.  This sport has taught her a lot and this year she learned how powerful her thoughts are and what they can do to change a situation, for the positive or negative.  So, she has been working to train her mind as well as her body and she also prays often :o).  And, it has been really effective!  She had her best meet at state and qualified for Regionals.  We went to southern California last weekend to finish off her season and again, she had 3 personal bests there.  9.375 on bars, 9.35 on floor, 9.35 on beam and a 9.75 on vault, finishing 5th all-around with a 37.825 and 1st on vault!  She was over the moon with excitement!

Wonder what her vault coach was saying to her after she warmed up?????

Turns out there were a lot of other parents unhappy about a couple of the coaches, so the head coach strongly encouraged them to work on being positive coaches and it really made a difference!  One decided to resign and two others cut back their hours, so Ainsley won't be coached by them anymore.  She is sad about one, but super excited about the other changes.  Another life lesson about speaking up when there's a problem and luckily in this case, change happened :o).
We went to Universal Studios afterward and had some fun visiting the new Harry Potter land and riding the rides.  The kids were much more adventurous this go around!