Projects

We are about 95% finished with the pantry project!!! Last weekend we spent some long hours working on it and it is finally usable and looks great! Reggie, Ainsley and I assembled the shelves but Reggie did the last one by himself. He’s so good at that kind of thing!
Laundry room wall:

We added 3M hooks so we didn't have to put holes in the nice, new wall and they are working great.

 Pantry wall

 Finished pantry wall

 So happy!!!

 New door into pantry (that's where the electrical panel used to be.

Ryan arrived Saturday morning and we moved our trampoline into the neighbors yard to make room for the new one. Our black Friday special from 2 years ago did not last like the last one 👎🏻. Around lunch we drove to disassemble the trampoline on craigslist. It was a beast and not super easy to take apart. I was dreading putting it back together but the kids were on us to get it together. We got most of it done the next day but we needed a few straps.

It was an exhausting weekend and my back flared up so I could hardly walk. I used the CBD cream that we had for Ainsley and I have to say it really helped. Ryan has been using it on his back and has felt some improvement. We are quite the pair. It’s not fun getting old!!!
And, today the HVAC people came back to tweak the furnace because it was overheating and shutting down before it reached its desired temperature.  Hopefully, this is the last time they have to come.  It has not been the best experience, but they have been very responsive and they are super nice.  Praying it is finally finished!

We survived!

Ryan was in China and Taiwan all week...he left on Saturday and just got home this morning.  One of the hardest things about his travels is the schedule and tight windows of where kids need to be.  This week had a different challenge...getting Reggie ready for finals.  I quizzed him for hours and hours and he thinks he did well, but we won't find out for awhile.  The saving grace this trip was the smoke.  Unfortunately, California is on fire and it is sad to see so many losing their homes and beautiful places like Paradise leveled by fire.  The smoke has decided to settle in Livermore and particle levels have been off the chart, cancelling all outdoor activities, including swimming!  It is the most smoke we've seen since we've been here.  Thankfully, no one in our household seems to be affected.  Not having swimming was huge for my stress level and things were so much more manageable. 
Khalif is also a challenge when Ryan travels and this was no exception.  He has been so good at school, but this week he had to sit out at recess for talking in class, ugh.  He also had an accident and had to change his sheets which hasn't happened in a very long time (he finally stopped wearing pull ups a couple weeks ago!).  Not to mention his daily behavior and absentmindedness.  I finally pointed it out and asked him if he felt any different and he said yes, but had no idea why...thought maybe it was the excitement of black friday or the cousins coming next week.  It is very interesting how his mind works and the connections he makes.  I've been tracking this for awhile and when Ryan is gone for extended periods of time his behaviors and issues ramp up.  I mentioned that to him and he thought that was not correct (what a surprise!) and seemed to make no sense.  So, he started with a new therapist last week, which he absolutely loved, and maybe she can help us/him figure it out!
As far as Ryan's work/life balance, its been up and down.  When he's home, its o.k., but when he travels weekly or for extended periods, things are rough.  He goes to Mexico after Thanksgiving for almost a week, so we'll be right back in the chaos.  It is hard :(.

Halloween

Halloween is changing a bit these days.  The older 2 wanted to go with their friends, so Ainsley went with her group and Reggie went with the neighbor.  I didn't even see Reggie in his costume!  We had a nice walk around our neighborhood with Khalif and had some nice conversations with neighbors...Halloween is nice that way...brings everyone out!  Not sure why Khalif chose to be an M&M since he has lots of other costumes, but it was easy.  He got WAY more candy than the other 2 and decided to weigh it.  It was over 8 pounds!  He wanted to bring a small bag and then have Ryan carry a big bag where he could dump his goods when it got too heavy.  I think it was a good strategy because he went to many people's doors with little or no candy and they were giving him hand fulls! 
Reggie was impressed with the Batman on our street...his costume was pretty amazing and he talked just like batman.  Our community is awesome and there were so many houses participating and so many little ones running around!
Ainsley discovered she likes chili and she had a great time with her friends...she decided to dress up 80's but wouldn't listen to anything we had to say, so I'm sure people were trying to guess what she was.

Volleyball buddies.  Easy school costume!

 Halloween parade at school

Khalif and his stomach

The boys were hit hard with a really bad cold and toward the end, Khalif was complaining of a stomach ache and didn't eat much dinner.  I had a feeling it wasn't going to be a good night so we reminded him right before bed what to do if he got sick.  And, he followed it to a T.  He came down afterward and told us he got sick and through up in the toilet.  Yay!!!  We have had so many problems with his throw up and where and when it happens and the lack of ability to get the puke in a bag or in the toilet, so this was good.  He woke up the next morning and had a headache and not real hungry, so I told him to sip water, but he only hear drink water and it all came back up about 15 minutes later.  He was thrilled there was so much water because it didn't hurt at all!  He stayed home and started eating a few hours later and was fine.  The following day was good too, but he had pizza at the adoption support group and wasn't feeling all that great.  Well, shame on us for not reminding him, although I'm not sure it would've helped.  When he gets a stomach bug, it can take up to a week for him to fully recover, puking randomly 3 days later sometimes.
Ryan woke up in the morning and the rug by the front door was in a heap, so he fixed that and then noticed a bunch of dried food in the sink.  He just thought the kids forgot to rinse it out.  Then, he heard Khalif from the stairs asking for him.  Khalif said someone had thrown up on the stairs and Ryan said, "Yeah, buddy, that was you."  But he denied it so convincingly that Ryan asked the other two sleeping children and they both said no it wasn't them.  Khalif then suggested maybe it was the cat?  Ryan decided to look at his jammies and there was puke all the way down the front.  He continued to deny it, but it was clear he did it but had no memory of it.  Ugh!  While Ryan was cleaning the walls, I noticed the couch had a mess on it, so I worked on that.  It must have happened shortly after we went to bed because it was all dried up.  This is one of those times where it would have been awesome to have cameras and see the video of what the heck he did., traveling all over the house while depositing puke!
The entire house spelled horrible and we didn't even know where to begin.  So, I called the professionals who apparently have been unusually busy.  He felt bad and fit us in and I have to say it was worth every single dollar!  I have been wanting to get the stairs cleaned for quite some time, so in a way, it was a win.  However, he didn't have time to do the entire top of the landing or the entry into the kids room, so there's an obvious line where he cleaned.  I'm going to see if my carpet cleaner can work magic, but in the past we haven't had much luck with the berber carpet.
Funny, that he thought the cat could create such a mess!

 AMAZING!

 So, I have reminded him again to use his hand sanitizer in his lunch box so he isn't sick all winter, but this wasn't even enough to make him use it!  I ask him almost daily and the answer is always, "I forgot."  So, between that and biting his nails, it will likely be a long season :(.  Thankfully, no one else got this bug!

House projects

Well, our HVAC project didn't exactly go smoothly.  When we ran the air conditioner it would blow really hard and then stop and then blow really hard and then stop, but occasionally, it would work correctly.  Miller's was great about troubleshooting but they had never seen this before.  They replaced basically the entire unit, moved stuff around, put in a ground and still no luck.  Finally they did some electrical testing and it was getting feedback from a couple wires that were touching (or something like that-I didn't really understand).  So after several months, we finally have a working system (the last visit and fix left me with a lot of questions based on how it was working and they were not able to answer my questions, so I guess we will have to wait until next year to find out if the problem is truly fixed).
There's actually a lot of things we need to do around here and the driveway is one....dad fixes it almost every time they come but it is still a cracked mess.  I would like to move the driveway to the street side and make it longer so we could have the option of parking 2 cars in the garage.  It will become more important when the kids start driving and if Ryan's company does a car allowance instead of a car (he wants to get a Tesla).  We had absolutely no idea how much something like this would cost and we only had one contractor who came and followed up with a quote.  We've heard they are so busy and can pick and choose there work, so it we definitely don't have the upper hand.  The quote was around 50K which didn't seem worth it for either of us but as I looked at the quote, I realized if we found someone to do the work themselves and not contract out everything and changed a few things, it would drop down to about 35K which is worth it to me since replacing the driveway alone is around 17K.  So, we will see if we can find anyone, but I'm not thinking this will happen anytime soon.
In the process of dreaming about that, I did realize there's a very small project that will make my life so much better!  I don't have a pantry and haven't since we've been married.  It is very hard to have enough food for these hungry children with no place to store it (right now our utility sink is being used as a pantry!).  We have a room on the other side of the kitchen that is overflow for a lot of different things, but if we cut access to it and closed off the existing door, it would be an awesome place for a pantry.  The one problem was the electrical panel is where the door would be :(.  We got a couple quotes to move it and it wasn't as much as we thought, so that was finished last weekend and hopefully, by thanksgiving, I'll have a pantry!!!

Ainsley

It was a long summer for Ainsley....she got sick right after the 4th of July with a sore throat virus and after several days, I took her in because it wasn't resolving.  They checked her for strep and she didn't have it and started to rebound a bit, but then started complaining about a sore throat again a few days later.  We were at Lummi and I looked at her throat and she had white pockets, but no fever.  I decided to take her in on our way home and they did another strep test and it was negative.  2 days later they called and said it was positive, so she had a different strain that wouldn't show on the rapid test.  Finally, an answer and an easy fix.  We picked up her antibiotics and the label said 7 days...what?  That didn't seem right to me so I gave her everything in the bottle which ended up being about 9 days.  You could still hear her throat was swollen and a few days later she complained again, but it was close enough to our trip home that I decided to wait it out.  Just about that time, Khalif got sick and was complaining of a sore throat.  He had a mild fever and was playing with Easton who was also sick.  I finally looked at his throat and he had pin pricks of blood which looked like Hand, Foot, Mouth.  We let Dustin know, but he took his kids in and the doctor said it wasn't HFM, it was another virus in the Coxsackie family, Herpangina.  Who names these things??!!  It wasn't long after and Ainsley got that too.  I think Reggie and I were immune since we both had HFM when he was a baby.  Her white pockets returned, but no strep.  Her doctor was amazed at the series of events and was very sympathetic but could offer no help.  I think she spent about 80% of her summer with a sore throat!  Miraculously, she was only out of commission for a few days and ended up just rallying and doing most everything sick.  We went to see our acupuncturist when we got back and she improved so much overnight, but it still took several weeks for her tonsils to recover.
School started for her not long after feeling better and she was back at trampoline and started fall volleyball. 
First day of school-they look so old :(

She was very nervous to go back to trampoline after taking the summer off and was talking about not going back but it was easy to see that she was actually afraid to do her skills.  I made her go and everything came back quickly and she has been loving it.  She will compete level 7 starting in December.  The season goes through May which will be interesting because club volleyball is at the same time!  We are really keeping our options open so we can try to have her do volleyball on opposite days of trampoline.  She is really loving volleyball and has improved a lot the last few months.  Try-outs for club are in a couple weeks and that will be telling as far as what her skills are.  I don't know volleyball at all, so I have no sense of how she is doing.  I will say, it is a bit over the top just to try out....you have to sign up for USA volleyball and pay for each try-out.  I'm thinking this will be kind of intense, but we shall see.
I haven't been there in time to see her trampoline routine, but I saw her latest on double mini:

Ainsley has had a lot more time on her hands which is a good and a bad.  Good because she is able to do more things and be a little more well rounded, but bad because she hasn't quite figured out how to prioritize and she ends up wasting so much time and then has to do her homework late at night.  So, she is showing us this month that she can organize herself and put in a little more effort into school before we sign up for another volleyball commitment.  I know she is capable because when she had no time, she was so much more efficient and was able to get things done.  Maybe its her hormones????  She is full blown tween and has an attitude sometimes that is very challenging. I'm just thankful that she tells me things.  I hear from so many moms that they have no idea what is going on (that is kinda how we feel with Reggie, since he isn't much of a talker).  The tricky thing is trying not to react when she tells me things.  So fun being a parent sometimes!
Perfect example is the dress below.  She pitched a fit about wearing leggings.  Thought it was fine without and I told her to bend over and sure enough her butt was hanging out!  Then she understood, but it doesn't help when she sees others wearing inappropriate things (although, it does help at times because she recognizes it).

Pinot's palette-she loves the explore her artistic side

Reggie

Big milestone for Reggie this year...the start of high school!!! 

 His buddies decided to walk together on the first day

The high school schedule has been a bit of an adjustment.  Reggie is out the door at 7:45 and doesn't return until 3:15.  He has a full schedule (some of his friends are missing a class) and it isn't an easy one, Geometry, Biology, English, FIT (freshman in training) and Social Science.  So far he is hanging steading with all A's and a B+ in Biology!  He was very nervous about Geometry so he looked in the book before school started and thought he would be o.k. and he just got 100% on his quiz.  The teacher found him and said to come to her if he ever needs any help because she wants him to get an A+!  We have seen a lot of maturity this year and although he still needs a little coaching, he is managing his classes really well.

Our house seems to be the drop off and pick up location and he and a friend spend some time everyday after school playing their game.  We just had a family meeting on Friday to reel everyone back in and make sure we aren't spending too much time on our devices (Reggie was playing every night and we have a rule of no screen time on the weekdays!).  These kids are always pushing the limits and unfortunately, they are growing up in different times and aren't able to manage their devices in a healthy way.  Its hard because many of his friends are on playing fort night for hours and hours.  I have told him if technology is what you like, then find a way to use it for good.  We have a retirement home just down the road with lots of elderly who could use a little help.  So far, he hasn't figured out how to make that work for him.  He will be going to work with Ryan for the first couple days of the Thanksgiving break to spend some time with some engineers at Molex to see what real life work in that field looks like.  Maybe he will pick up a new hobby!
We've encouraged him to try new sports at school and he is not even a smidge open to that, but we are strongly suggesting (actually, we are forcing) him to try out for the swim team in high school.  It hasn't been easy finding a new place for him to swim since his team is on hiatus for several months.  He is so resistant to change and going to new places, but we'll work through it.  I gave him his swim options and he chose the one with a lot of change and swimming in multiple places, so we shall see how that works out!
Reggie at a swim meet this weekend.  He got his BB time for the freestyle, his favorite and best stroke.

Homecoming was this last weekend and he and his friends had no interest in going to the dance, but we did go to the football game, a first for him.  I think he liked the snack bar best!
Hanging out with friends instead of going to the dance

Khalif

Khalif had a birthday over the summer and got to celebrate it multiple times...lucky boy!  We had a small family party and then an extended family party and then when we came back, he had a friend party!  We went to pump it up and ice cream with a couple of his best buddies, Miles and Kadin.  They had a blast and it was such an easy party for me to manage and thankfully, we were able to fit it in before school started.

His friends know him well....

We had some ups and downs this summer and unfortunately, we had a walk in the woods that brought on a lot of fear and took him to a place in his early childhood and there was no rationalizing with him.  I was particularly discouraged by this since we spent a year doing EMDR to overcome his trauma.  It appears we will have to learn to deal with it on an ongoing basis.  He is finally starting regular therapy next week....we often revisit some of the days issues and he doesn't know why he does what he does and he doesn't want to continue these habits, but he can't seem to stop, so hopefully, she will be able to give him some tools.
The start of the school year was a good indication that he needed some help.  He had his two best buddies in his class and got the teacher he wanted (and she is so amazing!), so things should have been great and they were, but he could not harness his energy, excitement and spinning mind.  His teacher talked to him several times a day and they had a couple heart to hearts and then she talked to me and I decided it was time to give CBD a try, rather than go through all the school testing.    Anxiety can look a lot like ADHD.  His teacher asked me if he ever stopped talking and it made me really aware of how much he does talk and how active his mind is, to the point where it is counterproductive sometimes.  So, I had a consultation and was given instruction on how to dose, but unfortunately, Khalif can't necessarily give an accurate assessment of what is happening in his body.  After the 3rd day of him noticing nothing, I decided to ask his teacher.  This was her response, "I almost sent an email today to compliment Khalif.  I told him today how proud I was of his efforts this week.  He is so much more engaged, full of timely questions and doing really well socially.  I hope you are seeing the same changes at home.  He is such a wonderful kid!"  I guess it works for him!!!  Although it wears off by the time he gets home.  We just had his conference and she asked if I had any concerns, so I brought up his behavior and she said that a month ago, that would have been the topic for the conference, but he has settled down so much.  Phew!  She said she has maybe 1-2 kids like him per year and sees him being a merit scholar someday, so thankfully, we don't have to worry about his intelligence!  He is very bright :).
First day of school

We also started Jujitsu last month and it was quite an ordeal.  He had an incident in June where a boy came at him and he got a bloody lip, so he was very fearful about going back which is unfortunate because he was enjoying it and the coaches there are so amazing at reading him and have really made him feel comfortable (even letting him sit out at times).  This is where it gets difficult as a parent....not good to let fear direct the choices we make, but at the same time, I don't want to increase his anxiety so much that it is altering him.  So, it has been several weeks now and he has been crushing other kids...he is very gifted in this sport, but if you ask him, he will tell you he doesn't like it.  Hmmm.  Again, what to do.  We will give it a little more time.  Ryan is drooling because he sees an amazing little wrestler, but Khalif isn't willing to give that sport a try.  Maybe someday.
Sadly, swimming ended this week.  Our team is dissolving for 7 months while the pool is closed for repairs.  They were not able to secure a spot anywhere else and there's no other team in the area where the kids could practice at the same time, so we are taking a little break, which is a bummer because they just had a swim meet and Khalif made huge progress, dropping 35 seconds off of one of his races!  I can't seem to upload the video of his 50 fly, so here's the link:  https://www.facebook.com/ryan.wade.9216/videos/1155947791244969/
He sure has a cool gi!

So far behind!

Where does the time go?  I am going to do my best to catch up and fill in the last 4 months! 
I guess I'll start with the most recent.....KOA.  Last weekend we had our annual halloween bash.  Adults dress up and it always seems a little difficult to get our costumes together, but it wasn't too hard since we decided to be trailer trash.  There was actually an entire site dedicated to this theme, so we fit right in (we don't know these people, but everyone is a friend at KOA)!

 Ran into some star wars friends

The kids costumes were thrown together....everything was so last minute even though I reminded them the weekend before that they needed to get something together.  Reggie made his costume which was a bit stressful given he didn't start until Tuesday, but he pulled it together and was a Llama skin from the fort night game.  Ainsley brought Ginger and we went through all our costumes and they picked the M&M's and Khalif decided to join them.  Reggie brought his friend, Caleb, and it was a great addition!  One of his few friends who will participate in life and do things other than video games.

The kids did pretty good this year looting for me.  Daniella even remembered my favorites :).  I have to say, Costco is ruining Halloween...everyone passes out the same candy

 They did eat some healthy food :)

Lots of time spent around the camp fire 

The kids were all over the place....Khalif brought his bike and had some good practice riding all over with Sophia.  The girls spent a lot of time on the jumpy pillow and we had an outing to the beach and pool Saturday after breakfast.  There were lots of whales and it was so awesome..I kept making the kids look and Ainsley said, "There just whales mom."  Then one came completely out of the water and she freaked out and I said, "There just whales Ainsley."  Teenagers!  It almost felt like Hawaii, until I put my foot in the water!  Definitely not Maui....it was freezing and the older boys didn't have wetsuits but that didn't stop them.  The girls and Khalif were a little warmer in their suits so they boogey boarded a bit longer.

Mom and Dad visit

We crossed paths with mom and dad.  They drove here the weekend we went back there for the wedding!  They gathered the kids for us since we got back on Sunday afternoon.  It was great timing since Ryan headed to Italy for most of the week.  It is very, very hard to manage the activities with one person.  I'm usually in the car driving around in circles, getting everyone to where they need to be.
Dad thought it would be fun to teach Reggie how to play bridge, so they had a few lessons.  Not sure how far they got!  He and Ainsley found a fun game to play, but I the video is too big to upload.  They sure laughed a lot!  The kids got there fill of treats and bread (I think they went through 5 loaves of french bread in 5 days!).  The yard got some much needed TLC and dad managed to stay on the ladder, so all was good.  The vegetables that mom planted are just starting to come up and we will be enjoying them soon.  I think I should have a list next time, so dad stays out of trouble!  They did spend a bit of time trying to get him tested for agent orange, which they managed to do and believe it or not, he has no residual from his time in Vietnam.

There happened to be a old time car show in Livermore on Sunday and dad really wanted to go to that, so we did!  Lots of fun old cars to look at :).  Then we went to an Operation Christmas Child event through Samaritan's Purse and I didn't really know what the event was and not sure I would go again, but it was an experience and we got a better understanding of how the entire process works.
There a really cool, rare car right behind us, but we blocked it!

Later that evening, life got very crazy.  We agreed to take a sibling set for 5 days not realizing my parents would be there.  It was actually very helpful because they could drive our kids around, but it wasn't so pleasant.  These kids were the most challenging we've had on many levels!  We've never had 2 and the reason we agreed is because they were in Livermore and the 4 year old is non-verbal and they were wanting to keep her in her speech program.  They both were in childcare all day, so that was a huge help, but the nights were crazy!  Not sure I would have survived the week if they were with me all day!  Between food and bath issues and bedtime, along with being in a new place, the kids were having a hard time.  The older one rallied after the first day, but the 1 1/2 year old was never very happy until after his visit with his mom.  Then he seemed to calm down a bit, but he was a runner, so we could never sit down.  I don't think they were told what the plan was, so these poor kids had no idea why they were staying with us.  God bless the family they are with....she has 4 older kids of her own and the 1 1/2 year old is her grandson, so she agreed to take them but they had a trip to Disneyland planned, so the whole thing made perfect sense.  It was a really sad situation all the way around and it was the first time I felt that things weren't going to end well for these 2-probably not going to be able to stay together long-term :(.  Even Ainsley couldn't wait for them to go and she is usually so into helping and hanging with these kids.  Not thinking we'll do a sibling set again!
I almost forgot, in the midst of the chaos, my car got hit in the grocery outlet parking lot.  I wanted to just leave, but there was enough damage to my car that it needed to be fixed.  So, she admitted fault, called her insurance before I even got around to it, but because we were both backing up, it was considered 50/50, so now I have to pay to get my car fixed and of course, her car was perfectly fine.  I'm not thinking that's going to happen anytime soon :(.
We had a little celebration after they left.  We BBQ'd and had some apple crisp on Saturday and spent some time around the fire :).

They had to leave to go take care of the cat who needs his medication twice a day.  He looks like he could die anytime, but continues to hunt, kill and eat various things, so I'm not sure it will be soon.  When he passes away, hopefully, they can stay longer :).  Two weeks goes by in the blink of an eye!

Dustin and Autumn's wedding reception

Dustin and Autumn got married in Las Vegas in August and planned a reception in September and I was trying to figure out a way we could go without the children and it occurred to me that if we send them all for overnights at friends houses, we could make it work and that's what we did.  Ryan had a flight out to Italy on Sunday, so it was going to be a fast and furious weekend!
I'm so glad we made it work!  It was great to spend time with that side of the family and enjoy some time away.  Our flight was delayed, so that was a bit of a bummer because we had all these ideas of what we could do and really didn't have too much time.  We were pleasantly surprised when we arrived at the car rental place and he offered to give us a Camaro!  But, Ryan went all practical and said we might need to drive people around and so he gave us some kind of Ford.  As he was doing the paperwork, I spoke up and said, "I think we should get the sports car!"  So we did and it was lots of fun.  Ryan enjoyed driving a lot :).  We were welcomed with a nice downpour...
Happy time on the plane

We stopped to get lunch at Mongolian! and then went to Liha and Wade's and visited for awhile before heading to Anthony and Emily's to get ready.  Then we headed to dinner with the entire group and had such a nice time visiting with everyone!  The blending of the families was so neat and I'm really glad we got to be with them on such a special day.  Then, the dancing started!  I'm not much of a dancer but did get out there a bit.  The boys sure have the dancing beat and they were very sweaty by the end of the night!